The big guy.  The main event.  The slacker.  What's really behind this guy's mind?  Let's find out, shall we?

GOKU:  Hey, I'm Son Goku, son of Bardock, brother of Radditz, and father of Gohan and Goten.
CAROLINE:  And the person I'm interviewing at the moment.
GOKU:  Go ahead.  Ask me anything.
CAROLINE:  Why'd you kill your adopted grandfather?
GOKU:  I did?
CAROLINE:  In your Oozaru form.  Don't tell me you don't remember.
GOKU:  I'll just be silent then.  What do you mean?
CAROLINE:  That's why the entire city was mashed to a pulp!  You stomped it clean, I'm afraid.
GOKU:  So it wasn't Vegeta...  Man, I need to apoligize to him.
CAROLINE:  So, what's your secret?
GOKU:  You mean how I get my hair to stay this way?  Well, it turns out that Capsule Corporation has this great hair gel--
CAROLINE:  No...  I mean, how do you get so strong?
GOKU:  Don't you watch the show?
CAROLINE:  Yes, of course I do!
GOKU:  Then why are you asking me about my strength?  I don't do anything.
CAROLINE:  What do you mean?
GOKU:  Not too observant, are you?  Let's look at a clip, shall we?  (Goku clicks a remote, turning on the TV and DVD player.)  Okay, chapter fifteen of "Return Gohan!", otherwise known as "Deadzone".  Watch now!  I'm holding on for dear life, and out comes Gohan and makes Garlic, Jr. fly into the black hole.  (He clicks another button, and the VCR turns on.) Now, to where I'm fighting my brother.  Again, Gohan flies in and takes control, bashing into his own uncle's armor, making him completely open to all sorts of pain.  All I did was pin him so he couldn't move. (The tape fast-forwards.)  Okay.  Now, fighting Nappa.  Do you know how much my friends weakened him?  One little kick to the shin from Gohan would have sent him away.  But I jumped in before he could take all the glory.  (It fast-forwards again.)  Fighting Vegeta for the first time.  I got one little scratch on the guy, and he goes ballistic.  Sure, I had him for a little while, but you see how easily he got away from my blasts, even with my Quadruple Kaio-ken Attack?  And after all the time I wasted putting it together, the I dropped the Genki-Dama!  (Spirit bomb, for all of you who don't know.)  Need I go on, Caroline?
CAROLINE:  Maybe later.  But for now, let's leave it to the rest of the people on the internet to decide what I should ask you next.  It's your turn, folks!  Email me with some questions, and I'll answer 'em, whether or not they're completely insane...

August 18, Y2K Interview

CAROLINE:  Nice to see you again, Son Goku!
GOKU:  Same to you, Caroline.  What's the question this time?
CAROLINE:  Well, I'd like to say that, first of all, this is from one of my friends, not my own question, so beat him up, not me, okay?
GOKU:  Okay...
CAROLINE:  Glad we have that understanding.  (Flips through papers on clipboard)  Ah!  Here it is.  [email protected] asks, "You and Chichi have had two kids, Gohan and Goten.  Yet, the two of you don't seem to be the best couple in the world.  How can you stay together like this?"
GOKU:  A rather personal question there, and I think he's wrong when he says that Chichi and I aren't that close anymore--
CHICHI:  (From kitchen)  Of course we're still close!  Do you think that I don't love him just because he's so violent, unclean, and, frankly, very rude when it comes to table manners?  (She glares at GOKU.)
GOKU:  (Whispering to CAROLINE)  I think I see what Jack means--
CHICHI:  Need I remind you that wives have some of the best hearing in the world?!  Think about it.  When the kids were still only a few months old, if even that, they slept right next to us.  When either one of them woke up and started crying, you still slept.  I was the one to get up and take care of them.
GOKU:  So I'm a heavy sleeper!  What does that have to do with anything?
CHICHI:  (Stomps into living room.)  Don't start with me, especially with a guest in the house!  Think of the impression we must be making--
GOTEN:  (Bounding happily into the room, with Gohan not too far behind)  Hey, who's that?
GOHAN:  This must be the girl that Dad was talking about a while back.  Caroline, isn't it?
CAROLINE:  (Standing and bowing)  Yes, and you must be Son Gohan.
GOHAN:  None other!  I've heard that you're quite the reporter.
CAROLINE:  (Blushing)  Well, I guess so...
GOTEN:  I've read some of your stories, too!  (CAROLINE kneels down to talk face-to-face.)  They're great!
CAROLINE:  Really?  I didn't think that my work got around so easily....
GOKU:  (To Chichi)  Well, would you look at that?
CHICHI:  I'm surprised they've taken such a liking to her so quickly.
CAROLINE:  You know, I think I might be making a film out of one of my stories pretty soon.
GOTEN:  Oh, wow!  I'll be at the theaters at the grand opening, okay?
CAROLINE:  (Laughs)  Oh, I don't know if it'll be a "box-office smash"...
GOKU:  (To CAROLINE)  You see, these are the closer moments in our family.  What the DBZ fans see isn't necessarily what always goes on.  Our marriage is just as together as Usagi and Mamoru.
CAROLINE:  I won't even ask how you know them...  This is Caroline, signing off!